Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
