i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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