Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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