Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize