It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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