i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We left an ass print on the piano.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
