Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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