I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
