OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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