i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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