Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You made out with two different species that night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
