All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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