i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
