So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
