i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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