when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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