You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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