Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wanna passion pit in your ass
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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