I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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