Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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