I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
