i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
