we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
