Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
