I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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