I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
