That's intense
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
