If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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