you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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