is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize