false alarm. still invincible.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Holy sore nipples Batman
so much tequila, so little girl.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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