He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize