What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
