just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
