just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
