I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
