just tell him i said nine months
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize