I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
