im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
