Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
