what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
