I can't breathe out the right side of my face
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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