The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
