why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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