STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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