I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
