they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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