I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
