SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
