Screwed.edu
one might say we're banned from that church
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
