Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
