They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
