he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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