I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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