I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Randomize
