Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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