Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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