Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He better not be in your backpack
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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