Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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