oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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