Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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