Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Your cock deserves a montage
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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