I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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